So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I AM VODKA MAN
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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