sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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