just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
