Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
