So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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