I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I had to cum in my sink.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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