DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
