toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
