If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
