On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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