Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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