My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
