I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So many bounce houses so little time
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
