I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
