well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
