If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
