He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I need to calm my uterus...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
