What a fucking waste of an outfit
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
