why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
