you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize