Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
