I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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