Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
