I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize