i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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