I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
