i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
