Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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