he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
