i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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