I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
