My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
