Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
