There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
