Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
