Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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