So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
