i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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