Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
