Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
my sisters under your porch take her home
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
