He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
