i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
