Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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