I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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