I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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