We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
