why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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