At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
