I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
