And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
