I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize