did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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