she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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