if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
