ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
