that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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