Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I look better un-naked...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
