She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize