I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
