that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
