I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
