My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
