just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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