Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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