my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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