a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
handjob tips. give me some.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
