it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize