shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
God, I missed his penis.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
