i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I lost the right to judge tonight
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
