I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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